You are often in my thoughts. One of those cliché patients that sit on a healthcare provider’s shoulder as a constant reminder of events past.
We always move quickly at my station, when a call comes in. There are a few things that make everyone snap-to a little quicker, and a child gunshot wound is one of those things. So please know, we came as fast as humanly possible.
Usually when guns are involved, we wait until the cops have cleared the area before we enter. This time, we came in on the cops’ heels, knowing it was you. I’m not saying this was a smart idea, or that I recommend it to others, but we wanted to give you the best chance possible.
It was so quiet when we got to your apartment, Lewis. Quiet like no apartment full of children should be. I wish I could have known you earlier–I definitely liked your superhero pajamas. You were a superhero that day, very brave.
I want you to know you had a great pre-hospital crew take care of you. My partner and the firefighter we brought with us are some of the best paramedics I know. The silence in your apartment followed us in the ambulance though, each of us pulling silently for you. We were quick, with our scene time. We were quick to help you breathe, to give you fluids, and then to give CPR. We were quick to the trauma center.
Unfortunately, some things are beyond our control. Some traumas damage the human body beyond our control.
My heart aches with sorrow that you’ve moved on, but I’m trying to fill that with warmth that you may be in a safer and happier place. Five years old is too young for the things you’ve experienced. May you find peace.
